The Key to Healthy Relationships

What does healthy communication look like? It’s not always easy to tell, and it can be even harder to keep up healthy communication with everyone in your life all of the time — especially in the midst of a global pandemic that has turned our communication styles upside down. What we do know is that healthy communication is the key to healthy relationships. 

The Basics

• Listen actively. It’s important not only to hear what words are being said to you, but to convey to the person talking that you care about what they have to say. You can do this by: 
  • Focusing on what the other person is saying rather than always thinking about what you are going to say next, 
  • Showing that you are listening with nods, “mhms,” and other nonverbal cues,
  • Paying careful attention to the emotions the other person is expressing through their words, and
  • Reflecting back what the other person is saying to you with phrases like “What I’m hearing is…”
• Understand nonverbal communication. You know what they say; a gesture is worth a thousand words. Or do they say that? Either way, be sure to:
  • Maintain eye contact.
  • Watch your body language. Something as simple as uncrossing your arms can show a person that you are open to their opinions and ideas.
  • Be aware that different cultures use different nonverbals than you might be used to.
• Stay calm. Becoming angry, stressed, or overly passionate during a conversation can be a surefire way to end it without resolving anything. You can manage your stress by:
  • Practicing deep breathing, 
  • Taking time to collect your thoughts, and
  • Looking for opportunities for compromise.
• Be assertive. While it’s important to avoid getting angry in order to respect the other person’s needs, you also need to express your own thoughts, feelings, and needs. 

Communicating with Friends

• Become comfortable with talking about communication. Friendships are all about openness and honesty. If neither you nor your friends can acknowledge that you struggle with communication, conversations can become awkward and eventually nonexistent, which can lead to friendships dissolving over time. Consider asking your friend how you can communicate better. 

Communicating with Family

• Balance your family members’ needs with your own. Here are some do’s and don’t’s:
  • Don’t leave anyone out of the conversation.
  • Do use humor to relax the room.
  • Don’t get judgemental.  
  • Do generate multiple solutions so that the best possible one can be found. 

Communicating with Roommates

• Be clear about what is bothering you. When two different people share the same space, no matter how compatible their lifestyles are, some issues are bound to come up. The good news is that healthy communication can keep these issues from escalating into a big problem. If something is bothering you, it’s likely that your roommate has no idea. So, reach out right away and address it with your roommate, not anyone else.

Communicating with Coworkers

• Communicate face-to-face. Though it can be difficult to do this during the pandemic, it is especially important to make an effort in order to preserve relationships and avoid miscommunications that can easily occur over email or text. Don’t be afraid to set up a Zoom meeting! 

Communicating with Professors

• Respect your professors’ time. When communicating with your professors, one of the most important things to remember is that they are just as busy or more so than you are! Respect the line of communication they have set up (most likely email) and only ask questions that have not already been addressed in the syllabus or during class. Also, don’t waste your professors’ time with emails full of spelling and grammatical errors that make them impossible to read. 

Communicating with Classmates

• Overcome the barriers of the pandemic by building community, even online. One of the most difficult things about switching from going to classes one hundred percent in person to almost all online is the loss of easy classroom communication and friendships. One way to mitigate this is to create a group chat with your classmates where you can talk casually and build relationships remotely. Share social media handles and create a mini support system specific to each of your classes!