Devils in Depth: Relationships
The Devils in Depth team converses with Sun Devils on a central theme. In this edition, students discuss their relationships.
Rachel – Theatre
I have a lot of classes during the day, so the only time I really get to see people is at night and on the weekends. I live with a lot of my friends because I live at my sorority chapter house, so I can just go downstairs and see them. But I don’t have a lot of time to go out of my way and schedule things during the week. I usually run into them and get to see them, or we’ll do it over the weekend. On the weekends, I’ll text them! I’m a big movie person, especially bad movies. I love watching bad movies with people. This weekend, I have my show for my major, so I don’t have a lot of time. But my sorority has a sisterhood ‘galentines’ event is coming up. So, all the girls are getting together and doing self-care stuff like face masks and watching movies. We’re celebrating girls and boys!
[In my relationships], I look for people who are honest. I want to find someone who is open with me and comfortable with themselves. I don’t like people that are fake. If you’re not presenting who you actually are, I find it hard to connect with you because I don’t know who you really are.
In classes, I talk to people to make friends or usually just get put in groups with them. Or if we’re both struggling with homework, we’ll talk about it and maybe start hanging out. Most of my friends are from my sorority though. Having friends makes me happier here because I’m from out of state. If I didn’t have friends, it’d be really hard for me. I have a support system here, so even though I don’t have my parents or the people I grew up with, my friends are still there to support even if they haven’t had the same experiences. They’re like ‘hey, it’s okay,’ and it’s a stress-reliever.
Travis – Mechanical Engineering
I try to schedule my work and leave time to spend with my friends. So, every Friday around 6, whatever I’m doing, I’ll stop and hang out with the people I’m close to. If something comes up, I’ll try to see if I can schedule my work around whatever event I want to do. [There’s] nothing big this month, but for Spring break, I’m going to Rocky Point with some friends. Basically, on a week by week basis, I just kind of see what’s going on, and I take it as it comes.
Definitely, [I look for] connections, base values, people who are funny. I like to be around funny people, people who are always positive. In classes, I’ll make small talk to people, and then if I feel I can be friends with someone, I’ll be like, “We should hang out,” or, “What’s your Snapchat?” A lot of the times, I’ll meet people through other friends, too. We’ll connect and then become friends, so kind of network with people.
[Having friends] definitely makes it really nice to be able to have a break from work and hang out with people because I think I would go insane if I didn’t have a good group of friends.
Amy – MBA
I think I’m a very school-oriented person, so I always make sure to get my work done and off my mind before I can do things that are fun. Some of my friends are in the same program, too, so we’ll do stuff together [like studying and homework]. We have a softball tournament on Saturday with my program, so that’s a fun time. It’s our core group and some other people we know.
For sure, [I look for] authenticity [in my relationships]. It’s really interesting in our program because everyone’s really friendly, we all say hi to each other and we’re all on a first name basis. But, there’s sort of a superficiality to that, and that’s not true friendship to me. True friendship is – there’s a level of trust there where you can be raw and talk about what’s going on inside. And, I think that’s very important in friendships.
I love talking to strangers, honestly. There’s some uniting theme, like we’re both members of a choir or we’re both looking at the same thing and I just strike up a conversation. [Friends] make it way more fun because you feel like you belong to a community. And, that’s important, I think, especially here because ASU’s so big. You need people who are supporting you, and you can go through this experience with them. So, it’s very enriching.
Michael –Mechanical Engineering
I normally set times throughout the week to hang out with my friends. My friends are my roommates so I’m always hanging out with them. I have 3 other roommates and we’re all in the same major, so we do our homework together a lot. We study at Noble and just hang out. This week, my friends and I will find time to go to lunch and hang out. We usually like to eat and workout together. Also, watch sports for sure.
I look for reliable friends. You know, someone who you can count on. Just somebody you can always talk to and who has similar interests. The same goes for relationships. A good personality and being relatable is important. To make new friends, I compliment them and be like ‘Oh, I like your shirt.’ Or in class, we talk about school work and stuff. Outside of class, I use small talk and ask them things like where they’re from.
It’s good to have a lot of friends because if you don’t, college is tough. Having friends makes it all a lot easier.
